


Catharsis

by martial_quill



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Bechdel Test Pass, Gen, I just love Rule 63 okay? okay, Legolas and Gimli are violent on their periods, Menstruation, fem!Gimli, fem!Legolas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-12-03 17:47:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11537298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/martial_quill/pseuds/martial_quill
Summary: Gimli and Legolas are terrifying at times. Poor Aragorn's just along for the ride.Or: Gimli and Legolas kill (and unman) Orcs on their periods, and Aragorn makes them tea. What are friends for?A one-shot set in Ithilien, post-War of the Ring. Fem!Gimli, Fem!Legolas, canon!Aragorn. Three Hunters friendship. Warning for violent humour.





	Catharsis

There was no word quite sufficient to capture the sound of Gimli's axe slamming into an Orc.

It started with a  _clang_  but then it very quickly changed to a disturbing squelching sound as it passed from the Orc's "pathetic excuse for a helm" (Gimli's assessment); to the "brains, if such a creature can be said to possess them" (Legolas); and continued to squelch until the Orc was neatly bisected at the legs.

Aragorn carefully did not look below the Orc's shoulders.

(There were some things it was better for a man not to see.)

Of course, some things had already been seen, and it was too late. The smirk beneath Gimli's beard was one of them.

"Three!" she bellowed at Legolas.

Legolas' reply was disturbingly cheerful, as her hands nocked, drew, fired in a blur of white. Another archer would be surprised at the angle of elevation. Such an archer would remain mystified (and frightened), unless he managed to piece together several months' observation of the moon cycle, the timing of these expeditions, and the grimace twisting at the corner of Legolas' lips. "Five! Do keep up!"

Aragorn sighed.

The monthly game of castrated, slain Orcs in Ithilien was getting a little old, honestly.

Not to mention that Arwen and Éowyn were beginning to raise the possibility of joining the expeditions as well, much to Faramir's terror.

 _No matter,_ he thought, trying to comfort himself.  _The first day's always the worst, Ada said. Now, where did Legolas say those willows were?_

* * *

Author's note: willowbark tea is the ancient predecessor for aspirin.


End file.
